So this season, has me like, ‘finding myself all over again’. It’s like I’m a new person, I have a new found identity, you know what I mean? After being with someone for almost 10 years; married for 5 of those ten years, and couple months before you celebrate your fifth anniversary…you’re separated, lol.
There has been a lot happening during these months, from court case, to seeking opportunities to study overseas, to growing even more in God, to being free and open and did I say FREE! I mean, to be honest, it’s not what I wanted, ‘a failed marriage’, but it has resulted in happiness, peace of mind, and a realization of love (in the right way). My future WILL hold a partner who is supportive and who knows who he is. Most importantly, whose he is.
Growing up in church, I’ve always heard the biblical references to being unequally yoked. Like many, we only think of this as courting an unsaved while being saved and vice versa. However, my experiences, as I have made mention of in previous blogs, have taught me, it’s more than that; it’s about two people having the same mind set, the same goals, the same desires to achieve individually as collectively, and the same godly principles (this is so important). It’s understanding that we will change as we grow together. I mean, who is going to be the same person after ten years? Growth is inevitable and required as we evolve. When I met my husband I was a backslider (not living for Christ as I should), after getting married, I reclaimed my faith in him. Thinking…well, KNOWING, this is the best thing that could have happened to me and us for that matter, my husband later told me if he knew I was going to become a christian, he would not have gotten married to me…Wait…..WHATTTT????
I have been vindicated; especially mentally, with all that’s been happening in this season, from me leaving my husband, to me moving back in with my mother, to me still having my job and church in another parish (city); trust me it gets tiring, but it’s way better than living with a man who is known to be a ‘husband’, but it feels as though he’s a roommate who you just can’t stand…you know? the ones, you’re glad when they’re not home, and when they are…. it’s AWKWARD!!!😞
I’m legally still tied to this man, I’m just separated, will I be getting a divorce?…YES…When will I be starting the paper work?…real soon…Am I happier?… OH YESSS! Have I given up on love?…NO WAY…