Having a hard time coping; after a breakup, separation or divorce?

Identity; it’s who you are, it’s KNOWING who you are, confident of your personality, your look, your style, your attitude,everything that makes you…’YOU’.

Often Times, we get so complacent in our relationships, whether marriage or platonic ones, that we depend on the other person to keep things going; to plan outings or dates, to pick the movie to see, to choose the vacation spot, and we are just there, being dependents. 

Never lose who you are even after especially a marriage, always keep things that are ideal about you. You love to shop and do some self-care every week, try and find time for that. Please note; that self-care is not just about spas and going to the hair salon, but spending quality time with your self, read books, go to the park, sleep, yes get some rest, pray, whatever it is that you enjoy. Don’t get lost in the shadow of your partner. 

As for me, I am coping quite well to be honest. How? I am now doing things that I’ve always wanted to do, such as; attend more church events, spend more time with my friends, as this occupies your mind and time, speak about what’s happening since the separation, this helps, don’t hide from it, or lock yourself away from the reality, face it! I’m now doing things that I couldn’t do while with him; I changed my diet, I’m more comfortable in wearing certain attire, I started wearing make-up even more than I usually do, I colored my hair, YES! Do things outside of the norm, things that when he sees you, he’ll not recognize it’s you. Things that you’ve never done while with him, especially even if you’ve been together for a while.  

I get to have more ‘ME’ time, without having to feel guilty about it. I am soooo super confident… In making decisions, speaking openly about what’s been happening in my marriage, and my relationship with the Lord…Whewwwww….I feel like ‘speaking in tongues’ . My relationship with the Lord has gotten so intense and intimate like I can’t get enough of him. He’s been my peace and comfort through it all, my child is healthy, is doing well in school, God’s just unfathomable I tell you. WHO COULD IT BE BUT YOU LORD? 

Maybe you’re afraid to leave because you’re wondering what will happen if and when you leave. Pray about it, if you’re at peace…Then do it! Be BOLD, BE OPEN, BE FREE, BE YOU! 



Joshua 1:9 NIV 

 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” 


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