I’m the other wife. The problems in my marriage are divorce worthy according to the world, but for some reason, God has not given me the CLEAR to keep it moving. Rather He continues to show me how the worst of the worst compares to what I do to Him. Every complaint, every act of selfishness, every action against me that I feel I do not deserve and I’m so much better than, God shows me that I am just as guilty of the same behavior, if not worse.
I have never cheated, I try to be fair, I’m willing, and I mean, I feel like I can be a pretty darn good wife. Now I’m sure you realized that I said I am the other wife. So the fact that I can be a good wife, and I am in the position of a wife, you would think that the sentence should have been more like, I am a good wife. …Yeah..
I would be a good wife, IF….I could write a book on all the things my husband would need to do to receive the best from me. Often times I find myself, feeling taken advantage of, not considered, ignored, unloved, and unattended to. So, if that’s the case, why give my all to get the least? I am somebody’s child. Child of God as a matter of fact. I know I am heir to the throne and that I am blessed. I know who I am in Christ and in this world, a head and not the tail, above and not beneath. So why does this man continue to treat me like he got a groupon deal and doesn’t have to put out much to enjoy my greatness?
As I vent to God on a daily basis about my frustrations, he always seems to remind me of Our relationship. My marriage with Him, and how lop sided we are. He shows me how selfish I am towards Him, when I choose to spend time with other people and things, knowing that I have not spent any time with Him. He shows me how I speak to Him all the time but when He wants to talk to me I am barely listening. He shows me how He asks me to do things and I promise to do them, yet never seem to get around to it.
You see, I endure a lot in my marriage. So much so that it makes me seem weak. Am I pushover? I don’t think so. Do I forgive easily? Yes, I try to. Because I know that’s what God wants me to do, and to be honest, I’ve been able to look back on situations where I did not forgive as easily and remember how it only prolonged me feeling angry, annoyed, and just so far from rest and peace that when I got it back, I wanted to do nothing more than strive to keep it. God is not weak. Yet he endures so much that He does not deserve just to win me over. How could I willingly and knowingly hurt him? How could I know how great He is, and how much He is capable of and still treat him like he doesn’t deserve first place in my life? He does so much for me. So much that even though I do not see it all, through His character I know that He makes all things work together for my good.
It’s difficult to abandon someone for reasons that God hasn’t abandoned me for. I have always had hope and continue to have it because I know that God will never leave me nor forsake me. I know that He is always willing to work with me. I just need to turn to him. Despite how long it takes me to do it, He welcomes me with open arms. Such unconditional love towards someone so undeserving, yet His embrace is as if I have done no wrong.. hmmm…
Makes me wonder how different my marriage would be if I displayed the same unconditional love, or better yet… my husband did towards me :D.
I have realized how much of Genius God is. How his ways surpass my understanding. How He created things to function the way He intended them too, otherwise, there will be strife, contention, and every other negative adjective that leads to everything but peace. Our relationship with God, is how our marriage on earth should be. With God, we are the selfish, we are the inattentive, we are the ones taking advantage of the relationship. Yet what does He do. He allows us to do our thing. He allows us to have our “fun”, and leave Him out. He doesn’t yell. He isn’t spiteful. He won’t leave your clothes and hang up his. He won’t cook or bring food for himself and even more hurtful. He won’t ignore you. Rather he waits for you, lovingly, unconditionally, and with open arms for when you return.
This is what God has been having me think about every time my husband shows that he’s human. Granted, God speaks to us all differently, and despite our similar situations your word may be different from her word. That’s why developing a relationship with Him so you can hear for yourself what He wants you to do will make or break the success of any relationship. Seek Him, and He will guide you, despite what it looks like to the world, despite the weakness you feel, stay strong in Him.
“For your Maker is your Husband, the Lord Almighty is His Name…” Isaiah 54:5